Writer’s Life April 2 2018

Procrastination Monday

I believe this is the craziest day yet. I started off sleeping in. Phone rings and my Uncle is having car issues so I get up and we go get him. Stopped for breakfast and gas too. Got home and I crashed and slept for a while. Got my mail and played with new products. Checked social media off and on today. Basically playing hooky.

My edits are in my lap. Well, the manuscript is anyway. I have started on it. I just don’t want to finish it.

More procrastination

I would rather write about how I have learned that some people only love you when they can use you. I am needing a break from my science fiction manuscript.

So being disabled has taught me people are jerks. Selfish and self centered jerks. If you can’t do what they want then you are of no use to them.

Just because you can’t see how disabled my body actually is doesn’t mean a thing. I have physical limits. I have hellish pain. I can’t always make you happy.

Most insensitive crap someone has said to me…

Drum roll please. Here it is the ugliest thing said. Someone actually had the nerve to complain about my not being physically able to do a “simple” task. They even said simple task.

Excuse me? How long have you known my disabled broke self? Hold up here. You want to tell my massive nerve damage, full body numbness, loss of mobility, can’t run, limps when I walk, still has spasms, two fused vertebrae and been to so many physical therapy sessions I got t-shirts for being a good customer, massive allergies, and migraines from the darkest pits of hell self that because I can’t do your simple task I am the problem?

You can’t fix stupid.

I won’t bore you with what simple task they had desperate need of me to do. I will add that long list above is just a few of my issues. I can do lots of stuff. I push hard every day to do as much as possible. Unfortunately I have limits.

I wouldn’t be so put out with this person had they actually been less of a user. After years of being physically handicapped I have learned the difference between someone who uses people and someone who just doesn’t understand my disability.

The leeches are everywhere.

If someone cares about you they will want to learn about our limits and help you over come daily challenges.

Users don’t care. They want what they want and they do not care if you die giving it to them. They say ignorant things to you too. My favorite one is the phrase you are just making excuses. When I hear that I know to just back away. User alert.

I got amazing friends.

I love my friends. The real ones who have been with me through hell fire. The ones who know me. Those who know how hard I fight to stay off hardcore pain meds. Those who see how hard I try to do normal tasks. They see my hard work and what it costs me. We also mutually support each other. I see their efforts to succeed and encourage them.

No one wants to fail.

Failure is not an option. I have two children I have raised as a single mom. I can’t fail. So when my bad days threaten to destroy me I have no choice but to suck it up and fight.

I want my friends and family to succeed too. We all have room to grow. We all have battles we fight. I want us to win.

I will leave you with this thought. If you do not want to hear the truth then you are the problem.

I spend my time having to accept the truth of my brokenness and that I won’t always over come these trials. Trust me when I say the truth hurts, but it is also good for you.

Your Favorite Small Town Writer,

Deedra Mosley

P.S. I didn’t edit this. Remember I am procrastinating. 😉

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